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nook holders
wot 1 nook sample
Poem up for deliberation?
I wrote some poems for my lit class, and when i got my grades back my prof said to get them published...i just thought i'd gains some opinions about them, this is the first
oh, and they are inspired yb sylvia plath's poem, the mirror
The Book
I await the subtle hands that shall discover my secrets
Elusive until my existence is obstructed
into sections that inevitably bring forth an end
I defy society and its pathetic mediocrity
Tangible to those who wish to
glimpse my separate worlds
I can not refrain the utterance of my context,
for what I possess is stolen from its holder
Some weep and some rejoice,
yet I relish what new notion I propose
I beg of you to respect my claims and
do not deny me of the domicile with those of whom are the same as I
Upon that cordial nook is where I take my repose
as a prelude to the tedious life that which I endure
Ragged is the leaf of my composition, withered and abused
Yet, I prevail again and live on forever more.
You write coherently and possess a broader-than-average vocabulary, so it's easy to see why someone whose daily job involves reading bad poetry would be excited by this. That being said, it needs serious improvement before you think about publication. Phrases like "I defy society and its pathetic mediocrity" and "I beg of you" are the sorts of things which might sound "poetic" but don't represent any original thinking on your part. In certain sections you're clearly trying too hard for verbosity, e.g. in the grammatically disastrous
"do not deny me of the domicile with those of whom are the same as I"
which only leads me to hope that your narrator doesn't wind up domiciled alongside the Chicago Manual.
I'm not altogether crazy about the poem on a macroscale either -- it is bursting at the seams with what seems to be an entirely unnecessary amount of anger towards infrequent readers, the effect of which is to convey an unattractive immaturity. The sophisticate's approach is always wit, never denunciation.
The process of revision is a difficult one -- it can be quite hard to bring yourself to discard something you have spent any amount of time polishing -- but heavy revision is exactly what I'm going to suggest for you.
Also, poetry.com is a scam.
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